Christmas Traditions Discombobulated
As I was walking to work this morning, I was thinking about how for people from other cultures who did not grow up with the traditions of Christmas, it can be a confusing and frightening time. Considering this multicultural world of ours, I have taken it upon myself to explain some of the more common traditions of Christmas, so those unfamiliar can join in with this wonderful and happy time of the year.
If you are familiar with the traditions of Christmas, you may find the information below useful to explain to others from different cultures, who could be feeling a little bewildered at this time.
THE "SANTA" ELF
An old obese bearded elf (“Santa” aka “Saint Nick” aka “Father Christmas”) drives a flying sleigh that is pulled by flying reindeer. It will land on your roof and he will come down your chimney and leave presents for all who have been good. If you have been bad, you will get a lump of coal. Take care that the Santa elf is not confused with Jesus or misspelt as “Satan”.
The traditional image of the Santa elf was developed by an international corporate soft drink company, and depicts him in a large red fur coat, black boots and red fur pointy hat with a white fur trim. The Santa elf (actually an actor playing him) appears in various venues such as malls, shops and street parades and will usually conform to this image. Often a special "grotto" will be set up where children can sit on his knee and recount their list of gifts and toys they will like to receive from him (see “Gifts” below).
In the Southern Hemisphere where Christmas falls during summertime, the fur-based costume is still used (despite the warm temperatures). Although occasionally he may appear with the red fur hat but with a red singlet and jandals (Australia and New Zealand) or gumboots (New Zealand). Rolling your eyes when explaining to Northern Hemisphere people that our Summer is opposite to their Winter does not help foster good relations and understanding.
DECORATIONS
You will need to chop down a tree, bring it inside into your living room and hang shiny balls (“baubles”) and plastic fur-like rope called "tinsel" on it. If you prefer not to chop down an actual tree, fake trees made from plastic are an accepted substitute.
The “traditional” Christmas scene includes a warmly lit house featured in snow, so in the Southern Hemisphere Christmas, you will need to decorate your window panes with pretend snow that is spray-painted on.
Miniature dolls of the Santa elf or a Christmas Tree are also popular as a form of decoration. Ones that dance and loudly sing a traditional song when you clap your hands are particularly amusing.
Holly, is a very sharp and spiky leaf that is placed around the house as a decoration. Keep out of reach of children.
House lights
Widely practiced through some countries is the tradition of externally decorating the entire house with lights. Not simply a large flood light to light up your house, but many lights of different colours and sizes and animations, often including illuminated characters such as the Santa elf. Watching the speed of the power meter change as the lights turn on each night has also become a fun tradition.
Mistletoe is a mysterious plant which is hung from the ceiling or doorway and two people meeting under it are obliged to kiss. Hats with mistletoe attached to it do not confer the same kissing "powers".
During the days leading up to Christmas, and indeed on the day itself, it is not unusual for people to wear on the head replicas of the Santa elf’s red hat, or replica reindeer antlers. People of a bold character may even wear these in public.
PRESENTS / GIFTS
On Christmas Eve, you need to hang a stocking on the mantelpiece which will have presents put in it by the Santa elf that will come down the chimney and into your house while you sleep. The Santa elf is immune to the effects of any fire which is lit. If you’re not asleep, he won’t come (subsequently no presents). “Stockings” don’t usually mean a pair of old pantyhose as there are special large sock-like items you can purchase for the purpose. Hanging a large stocking does not automatically guarantee a large present.
Children need to write a letter to the Santa elf (who lives at the North Pole) listing the presents and toys they wish to receive. The Santa elf compiles these and compares against his own list of children who have been “nice” during the year – increasing the likelihood of subsequently receiving the requested gifts. A corresponding list of children who have been “naughty” during the year is essentially a 'black list' of those who will not receive gifts, but a lump of coal. If a child does not write to the Santa elf, they do still tend to receive a gift or coal – depending upon the nice/naughty list criteria.
If you don’t have a mantelpiece, you will wonder where your presents will be put, or indeed IF you will get any because you haven’t hung the traditional stocking. However, the Santa elf can leave these under the tree that you chopped down (or the pretend tree), decorated and put in your living room. If you don’t have a mantelpiece or Christmas tree this will confuse the Santa elf and you may not receive any presents.
If you don’t have a chimney, you will worry about how the Santa elf will get into the house to leave presents. You may leave a door unlocked for this purpose – which then makes you worry about burglars. The fact that the Santa elf enters your house without you knowing is irrelevant.
Separate to gifts from the Santa elf, you will need to buy gifts for everyone in your family and close friends. Some gifts you may need to buy quickly after receiving one from someone unexpectedly. This is where phrases like “oh, I’m picking yours up from the store tomorrow”, or “I actually have yours at home” can be useful delaying tactics to allow you time to purchase the return gift. Having a selection of “emergency” gifts can be extremely useful – bottles of wine or a box of chocolates wrapped in cellophane with a little ribbon can be handy. Any not given away you will be free to consume, however best wait for a few days after Christmas for any delayed giving.
Secret Santa
A fun tradition in the workplace is to be allocated a colleague at random to buy a present for which you will give anonymously – replicating what the Santa elf does on Christmas Eve. As a guide for all participants, a nominal limit is placed on the amount that should be spent on the gift. Inevitably this means it will often just be a piece of cheap crap that won’t last long, but if it involves penises, sex or reindeer droppings, the fun and laughter is shared by all and is wonderful team building.
FOOD
A roasted turkey is a traditional part of the Christmas Feast. Not being able to roast one properly leaving it dry and tasteless also forms part of the Christmas Feast tradition. Christmas tends to be the only time of the year a whole roasted turkey is eaten (although North Americans have a feast called Thanksgiving where they eat turkey also). It is completely normal to gorge so much during the Christmas Feast, that the remainder of the day is spent groaning in an armchair with a button or two popped open “to make room”.
Christmas Cake is a dense and heavy fruit cake covered in a think layer of plasticine-like sugar icing. The high dried fruit content can have a therapeutically useful laxative effect for the amount of food eaten during the Christmas Day feast.
In the Southern Hemisphere’s Summer Christmas, you will probably have a barbeque. This isn’t really special for Christmas, as these are held any day you have off work during summer.
Christmas Pudding is a wonderful steamed fruit and spice pudding. Upon serving it is doused in alcohol and set on fire.
SINGING
A multitude of themed songs are sung around Christmas time.
One popular song with children recounts the story of a reindeer whose nose glows bright like a light bulb and he guides the Santa elf’s flying sleigh around the world.
One of the most classical songs (made famous by Bing Crosby) is “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas” – alluding to the traditional Christmas scene filled with snow. You will sing this in the Southern Hemisphere’s summer Christmas also, knowing full well you’re actually hoping for a sunny and hot day so you can be out in the backyard playing with your new remote-controlled flying device the Santa elf left you; or playing cricket with your siblings and cousins so you don’t have to talk to the old Aunties and Uncles.
Carolling is a form of extreme singing where you go from door to door around your neighbourhood singing the themed songs holding candles. Of course, in the Southern Hemisphere daylight-savings / summer time means it doesn’t get dark until after around 9-10pm, but you will still hold a candle in the dusk-light because it’s traditional. Do not be alarmed if a large group of strangers appear at your door singing how they want you to bring them some “figgy pudding right here!”.
So as you can see, Christmas is a season filled with fun and feasting and wonderful traditions that are not at all frightening or bizarre.
Enjoy!!
and
Merry Christmas to all!!
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